I’m Not Okay, Don’t You Understand?

            When it comes to family, me, and many others close to me, know that I have never been the fondest of those in our tree. However, it is not so much so because of the other family members themselves, rather, it is because of the way they approach the topic of feelings and deep, emotional thoughts; consequently, due to the lack of communication they had with their parents when they were younger. I have not, in any memorable instance, heard my family talking with or about someone else and having had taken the person’s feelings into consideration; yet, the constant family gossiping could go on for ages once that specific person leaves the room. Even I, and like many others who are reading this blog, have dealt with other family members and the never-ending ramblings about how you seem to be feeling, or what was going through your mind when you did something out of the ordinary. In some instances, I can recall that my family would mock me for liking a girl or for having a girlfriend; however, they never bothered to actually TALK about the things that are being discussed or even ask actual questions with no judgment in their voices.

            Even more painful than having family members judge your personal life and emotions is when your own parents are the ones doing the hurting. Of course, some will say that you may not be expressing or communicating what you are trying to say in the most honest and direct manner. Unfortunately, this is not the case, though, in most instances (as far as I have seen). Most of the time, you’d be shooting blanks—aimlessly hoping that you and your parents will meet at the crossroads and come to some understanding of one another’s feelings. I have personally been unable to have any true breakthroughs or emotional connections with my parents. Even as a child, I was conditioned to either deal with what I was feeling myself or feel embarrassed of how I was feeling. Worst of all, I can recount, was a time during my high school years when I had spiraled down to one of the lowest points of my life and my parents only helped in intensifying the feelings that had already been pushed to beyond the breaking point. It only served as an example, though, of the lack of compassion or understanding that some parents can have towards their children.

            Of course, not all parents are as oblivious to the turmoil that their kids could be going through. I have known of friends who have had their parents go through mountains to give them the care that they so dearly needed to recover. But being as we live in a pessimistic society, those parents are often overshadowed by the ones that alienate sensitivity. If parents, and overall families, would take the time to educate themselves on how to handle emotional issues with their kids there could possibly be a surprising decrease in suicide rates and attempts. Although these types of things tend to be a pile-up of various factors, parents are usually the ones that could help the most—even saving lives—if they understand the true nature of what their kids could be feeling. In the meantime, all we can do is hope for there to one day be an uprising of compassion and understanding because even as the world continues to learn more about human behavior and what drives emotions, we seem to be losing the actual connection that we have with these fundamental human characteristics—with what makes us truly human.